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Lila Krishna's avatar

A few thoughts:

* Reading for a lot of kids is the one thing they can do without someone telling them they are wrong. It also is the easiest way to stay out of the adults' way. My mom was anxious and everything I did triggered her anxiety. My uncles liked to get me out to play but they were impatient with my lack of hand-eye coordination, so it was stressful to play with them. So sitting down and reading was great. There's no way to read wrong lol. I notice this among my friends' kids who started reading at like 2 or something. There was nothing for those kids to do autonomously.

* Maybe parents don't let kids just do things on their own enough without a whole bunch of rules. Thing my kid likes best is when we're just cherishing what she's doing on her own, maybe stepping in to help a bit. Feels like highly involved parents don't let kids do this, like they want to teach kids what to do etc, which is annoying. But if a kid has learned to read already and picks up a book, or is going on a tablet, they get autonomy over there.

* I don't find nerdy Indian programmers, at least from my generation, being 'autistic' in any way. They usually tend to be highly attuned to grownups and know the right things to say and do in high visibility social situations. I think this difference between indian and american programmers probably exists because in the US, getting into nerdy things or sitting down for a long time to focus on things and persist at difficult things happens when you opt out of social stuff. The normal course of education doesn't encourage this to this extent. But in India, especially if you're Hindu, there's a lot of stuff you can get good at if you are the sort who'll sit down and focus for long hours, which is encouraged greatly by adults. You can get great at classical music, you can learn a lot of religious material, you can learn a lot of math, you can read a lot and write a lot. These things are not odd esoteric interests, but things everyone learns, so you can get quite far with some interests and the adults will be so proud of you. So reading for long durations etc fits into a social context. You don't have to do these things solo, unacknowledged.

* Every now and then in the Bay Area I come across a young person who is smart and very sensitive, and it seems like they found "their people" in a weird sex niche doing drugs. Their childhood seems to have had a lot of promise, but once they stepped out of their small town, they had a lot of trouble fitting in and ended up in a place like this. When I think of similar people I grew up with in India, they usually are really into indian classical music, and even when they move to the US, they find a group of people into classical music, and that culture typically is full of traditional, innocent people who have been trained with a lot of rigor by teachers who treat them like family, and they bring that culture into whatever new group they have for music. Those groups have a familial vibe with no ulterior motive. Even though I grew up in that culture, I feel stifled when I come across such groups, and I think that was hugely because I had this whole feeling of not belonging anywhere. I actually like them much better now lol because I've worked on my issues. Anyway, I feel like this is what those smart sensitive young people need, but in the Bay, it seems like that niche is dominated by predators.

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Daniel Saunders's avatar

I identified with the people described in this article about reading and empathy a lot. I'm autistic, I read a lot and I’m a failed fiction writer. Much of my non-fiction writing over the years has tended to drift to memoir or has just been there deliberately. I’m to break out though I’m still in philosophical/political/theological writing. I’m not an atheist though, but an Orthodox Jew (perhaps a slightly socially unconventional one, but pretty Orthodox in practice and belief). I’m also more into the humanities than sciences.

It’s interesting about reading causing autism symptoms. I suspect I’m in the category of being generally introverted and reading more because I’m "messed up" rather than messed up because I read more, but I have suspected for a while that social media and the internet encourage autism/ADHD symptoms, at least at a subclinical level (as well as encouraging self-diagnosis of these things).

I agree about the problems of having emotional empathy without cognitive empathy, both in myself and in the left. Hamas uses this empathy gap ruthlessly. Many on the Western left can not understand that because they would not sacrifice their lives unless oppressed beyond measure, people from cultures that praise “martyrdom” would do so even without such oppression. They can’t make the cognitive shift to another culture. My shift towards the right saw me trying to take a more detached, less emotive view of society.

The post did make me a bit scared about reading to my (future) kids!

Oh, and I like that you call your Substack a "blog." I’ve been blogging since 2006 and am constantly in danger of unthinkingly referring to my Substack or those of other people as “blogs,” which I’m sure is a grave faux pas.

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